Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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