But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
