So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I will be naked everywhere
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Randomize
