You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
