Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
im holly from the hills drunk
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
