fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
