my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
