winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
