ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
