Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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