those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
