im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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