Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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