So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
