haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
