i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
