Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
