He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
