i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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