Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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