Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
there's paper in my vomit.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
