I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
