need another drink. this is the easiest way
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
