Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
