I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think i got beer on your cat.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
