Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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