I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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