Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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