i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
