She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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