I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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