just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
