okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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