I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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