So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
