You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
