just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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