thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
