Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
