At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
COCAINE IS GR8
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