last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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