you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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