we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
