At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
