Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
