All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
