So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
