And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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