nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
