The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
